A startling revelation by President Donald Trump that he has spoken to thousands of centenarians has evoked this response from an illustrious predecessor, GEORGE WASHINGTON
My fellow Americans,
I write to you today from my Heavenly White House which the Good Lord has allowed me to name Valley Forge, my retreat from the hustle and bustle of modern 18th century life.
I have been talking with your current president, Number 45 (I was flattered to discover that the media refers to me as Number 1!) whom you will know better as Donald Trump. What a pleasant man. He contacted me by means of an extraordinary White House device called ‘the telepathy-phone‘ which he apparently uses from time to time when, as he put it, “the heat is on”.
Young Donald told me of many conversations he had on the presidential campaign trail in 2016 concerning some of those who had fallen on foreign shores. Thousands, indeed many thousands, of parents of dead Korean War soldiers, wished to see their war hero sons’ remains brought home to these United States for decent burial. But I t seemed hardly possible.
“Young Donald,“ I counselled, “these thousands of parents to whom you spoke must be almost 120 years old to have had even 18-year-old sons who died in Korea in 1953.“
[I must explain that I had been talking to one of my Heavenly colleagues up here, former President Harry Truman, who brought me up to speed on the events in the 20th century. ]
My point did not disturb him one bit. “Fake news!“ He said. “Have you been talking to that Clinton woman? Or that Muslim, Osama bin Obama?“ I assured him that I had not.
But he seemed to see my point. A big, cheesy grin spread across his face. “Father figure, I cannot tell a lie. Those parents to whom I spoke, and they were great, great parents who told me they loved and respected me and although I still had not been elected they called me ‘Mr President’… well, they may have lied about their age.“Some people will do that, I’m sorry to say.
“Anyway,“ he continued, “I fixed with President Kim of North Korea to have those kids brought home and it is a great, great thing that I have accomplished on the road to world peace and the Nobel Pizza Prize, something that even Roosevelt and Kennedy couldn’t get a sniff at.
“What I need from you, George, is this: can you somehow get together all of those young Americans who fell at Yorktown and arrange to have them shipped home to their loved ones?
“ i’ve already had the same conversation with Abe Lincoln and he’s rounding up some of the dead of both sides from the Civil War so they can be repatriated to wherever they came from, and that’s a great, great thing, I think you’ll agree.“
My fellow Americans, if your current Commander-in-Chief can pull this one off then he is a genius.
God bless you. And God help America!
[Sent from my Heaven-on-hiPhone]
